


Safety Pin

by Tetsuu_writes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Parents, Accidental selfharm, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asthmatic Sakusa Kiyoomi, Boys Kissing, Bruises, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Drown attempt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Help, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Men Crying, No Smut, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Sad and Happy, Sad with a Happy Ending, Secrets, Suicide Attempt, Trust Issues, abusive household, just soft boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:41:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23266384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tetsuu_writes/pseuds/Tetsuu_writes
Summary: It was the same everyday. Until a boy with black locks reached out his hand to help.OrThe story of domestically abused Atsumu who falls in love with Sakusa, which helps him in his dire situation, where Kuroo gets his happy ending and Osamu learned a thing or two from his brother.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Yaku Morisuke, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 22
Kudos: 304





	Safety Pin

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first big one shot, so I apologise for any typos!! I tried to proofread it, but I might have missed some! 
> 
> I hope you read the tags, if not, please do. 
> 
> This is not for the light-hearted and talks about themes like abuse and violence and mental health problems. It has a happy ending tho and I hope that you cry a little, because I cried while writing :) 
> 
> Also heck yeah 20k words!!!
> 
> !!!!!There is also an illustration of Atsumu I drew for this story, its shows his bruises!!!!!
> 
> Enjoy!!

It was the same, every single day.

Atsumu would curse his anxiety for waking him up hours before his alarm went off, he would stare at the mold in the right corner on the ceiling of his room and ask all the higher beings why he didn't suffocate and die a peaceful death in his sleep. He would lay there until it was time to move. The indication of that was when he heard his mother's voice yelling at him. This day was no different. The door to his room opened forcefully, hitting the hole in his wall that arose from the doorknob being slammed into it every single day and a sturdy, small woman with dark hair stood herself into the frame.

"Get up, you lazy piece of shit and make yourself useful",were the choice of words she went for that day with her face being as unfriendly as ever. A ton of wrinkles were decorating her face like ornaments from the constant frown she carried with her like a purse and she opened the blinds, to let the aggressive winter wind in through the window.

"Wow, a new insult today, you really used your brain today, mother figure", the blonde snarked, shielding his face from the cold breeze that was making his eyes water, what earned himself a slap right on one of his bruises. He winched, closing his eyes and reopening them to glare at his mother, while he rubbed his elbow.

"Disgusting old hag, don't touch me", Atsumu hissed through gritted teeth. When his mother got ready to strike another blow at her son, he dodged her in an all too practiced movement of walking past his mother and into the bathroom to brush his teeth, locking the door. He knew he wouldn't get any breakfast anyway, so he could just settle for the minty taste of his brothers toothpaste to linger in his palatal. After washing his face, he ran to get his bag and put on his shoes before his father could get a hand of him. To his luck, he must have still been sleeping. Atsumu took his chance and ran out of the door at top speed. Very slowly, Atsumu walked to school. Now that he didn't make breakfast for his family, he had plenty of time left until the bell rang.

Atsumu wasn't bad at school, not at all. He was academically smart, a lot, but he just didn't see any appeal in having to prove that in a school system that estimated someone's knowledge depending on how good they were with memorization and the ability to obey. He just half-assed his way through everything, though his grades took a big blow from his attitude. His behavior against the teachers was a cry for help, but no one seemed to notice Atsumu aside from the fact that they all knew he was "Annoying as fuck" and "A total faggot".

Atsumu didn't really have any friends, either. Except for Kuroo Tetsurou, who somehow had been invited to the cool kids, but still spent all his lunch breaks to chat with Atsumu.

"How are things with Yaku?"

Blushing terribly, Kuroo attempted to hide his big smile. He bit down on his lip to stop it, but it was in vain. At the beginning they couldn't stand each other, because Daishou, Kuroos ex, who he had a long, tiring history with, was somehow really close to Yaku, who in return somehow didn't see through him. Atsumu had known it was a crush disguised as bickering and not understanding one's true feelings. Kuroo and Yaku worked it out though. And because Daishou was the fakes snake Atsumu had ever seen, he would never trust him. He couldn't explain it, but from what Kuroo had told him (it was a long story), he knew Daishou wasn't shit.

Yaku and Kuroo however went from bickering to teasing and teasing transformed into flirting. Before he knew it, Kuroo had developed feelings for the smaller boy and Daishou kept out of it for the most part; Atsumu was still suspicious.

"Well, he… invited me over yesterday and we spent some time together. We kinda uhm- kissed but- but said that we should take it slow. So we're taking it slow and I'm super happy", he grinned, but as quickly as possible he changed the subject, his smile vanishing from his face. He knew he was allowed to be happy, but he didn't want to make Atsumu feel bad and rub it in his face.

"How is your cut and bruise?", Kuroo asked, handing Atsumu his second sandwich he always packed for him. Gratefully, the blonde accepted the food and turned to look at his legs. His clothes were rubbing against the bruises and cuts on his skin, but the one on the inside of his thigh was the the newest and therefore worst. It stung and burned with every step he took, but from years of experience he learned to just ignore it for the most part.

"It's fine", he said, his hands shaking a bit as he took a big bite out of the ham sandwich and continued talking with his mouth full, "I kinda just poured a little vodka over it, which is probably not so good, but my mom didn't let me have a proper disinfect, said I didn't need it. And then I yelled at her that that's unfair and now I have these cool yellow bruises on my arms. She woke me up, with her beautiful yelling voice and hit them, so now they hurt, too"

Sighing, Kuroo reached out to gently take hold of Atsumus arms. He stilled, with his cheeks full of food and looked up at Kuroo from his hunched up position with questioning eyes.

"So that's what you smell like, it's really strong...Lemme see..", Kuroo mumbled, abandoning his sandwich and concentrating on the examination of Atsumus arms. Hiking up Atsumus sleeves, he frowned upon seeing in more detail how bruised and full of cuts his friends arms truly were in comparison to last week. He was too scared to ask to take a look at his legs.

"Do you really think that talking back is such a good idea?", the tall boy asked, placing his hand over the others eyes and spaying some deodorant in his general direction, while being considerate to not get anything on his breakfast.

Kuroo was obviously worried for his friend, especially because he himself had many scars on his body and soul, which he carried with him at all times. Knowing that his one true friend was in the constant process of expanding those scars in quantity, made his heart ache with nostalgia and grieve he shouldn't have and bad memories of his own experiences. He shouldn't miss her.

"Talking back is the only freedom I have. She is trying to take all of it but my speech is something she can never take away. Besides, she would hit me, even if I was silent", Atsumu said, "It's-... all I have left"

They ate in silence for a short while, staring at the floor or the grey walls of the school. Neither of them said anything, until Atsumu spoke up once one.

"I'm used to it, anyway", he continued, shoving the rest of the sandwich in his mouth at the sound of the bell.

"You shouldn't be..", holding out his hand, Kuroo helped Atsumu up on his feet and they left their little secret corner of the school, going back to their school personas.

The popular, smart and "handsome" guy Kuroo Tetsurou. The cool kids had just adopted him at one point in 12th grade, when his voice dropped for the second time and all his pimples suddenly disappeared. It might have had something to do with his mother leaving and his dad concentrating on work more, what made them earn more money (Of course no one but the school and Atsumu knew about his homely situation, but the "more money" part had made the cool kids ears perk up).

And then there was Atsumu Miya. He was known as the biggest troublemaker to have ever put foot into this school. Having a twin brother had been fun in earlier years, when everyone would mistake one for the other. But now, with Osamus top grades, overall best behavior and grey dyed hair, it wasn't hard to separate him from Atsumus blonde hair and foul mouth.

Not even once did any of the teachers try to acknowledge that Atsumu was just as smart as his brother, but didn't have the motivation or will to show other people. He strongly believed he did not need to justify his intelligence. Moreover, he was lazy. Not lazy as in he didn't care about his future, he did fairly okay for his lack of activity, but the constant criticism he received from everyone made him think, even if he would get straight A's, people still wouldn't see him as he is; so why make things harder for himself?

They kept their friendship a secret for two simple reasons.

Reason 1.  
Atsumu had a feeling that if people knew Kuroo and he were friends, they would make not only his, but also Kuroos life, a living hell.

Reason 2.  
Kuroo deserved a normal school life and after all he's been through, Atsumu didn't want to be the one who destroys it once more. He was just content with letting Kuroo have this. He wanted him to be happy, because he deserves it. At least one of them would be happy that way. It made eased Atsumus mind that his best friend was feeling okay.

The cool kids weren't the nicest people. Nobody really liked them for their personalities and they could be quite cruel to Kuroo, wanting to change his hairstyle and his clothes and everything they didn't like about him. So, mostly everything. They were popular, because they just asserted their dominance once and no one fought them and were scared of them for whatever reason. Kuroo knew all of that, but was too good at heart and felt too safe to give any of that up. They would constantly bad mouth Atsumu and other random students while he was just there, like Veronica with the Heathers, hoping to just stay alive.

The rest of the school day was spent alone, getting yelled at by teachers, getting criticized and shoved against the nearest wall by other students, getting mediocre grades. Nothing Atsumu wasn't used to. He, however, liked it better at school than at home. At school, people didn't have any relation with him, had no connection to him through blood. At home, his own family would constantly make him feel that he was worth nothing; that they would be better off without him. So he obviously took his sweet time on the way home, trying to delay his arrival even though it was terribly cold, looking about people's windows into their homes, asking himself how their lives might be, if they were happier.

He looked at one of the houses entrances one block away from his own and noticed a big truck with men who were loading up stuff and carrying it inside. A tall, dark haired man pulled out the 'For Sale' sign from the grass, talking to a lady, who appeared to be his wife, with equally dark hair. Atsumu let his gaze wander and landed on the window on the left side of the house. Sitting there was a boy with the same hair as the other two, which was all up in his face. His chin rested on his crossed arms as he returned Atsumus gaze. Their eyes met for a short moment and Atsumu froze in his steps. Even after the boy had nervously retreated, Atsumu couldn't rip his eyes from the window sill. He shook the weird feeling creeping up his back off and continued his walk home, kicking pebbles that lay in his way.

As quietly as possible, Atsumu opened the door to his parents house. He kicked off his shoes and wanted to make his way to the bathroom to get a quick rinse in without actually showering, because it hurt him, but his father stopped him, grabbing his wrist painfully tight.

"Where were you this morning?", he spat. Atsumu fought his father's grasp, eyebrows furrowed.

"I went to school, you know, like a normal kid", he ripped his wrist away only for his father to grab the other side and squeeze down.

"Don't talk back to me! You didn't make breakfast again. Did you forget that it is your duty to make breakfast for us all in the morning, are you that stupid? Be more grateful, miscarriage. Next time you forget you won't get any dinner anymore", his father scolded, his big hand shaking from the force he performed on his sons wrist.

"I don't get dinner, anyway", Atsumu retorted snappily, giving his father a look, tongue out.

The head of the Miya family was a cold blooded man who only cared for success and good results. His black hair was almost entirely greyed out and he wore a mean expression on his features, like he had been born with it. He shook his head, opening his mouth to yell at Atsumu more, but suddenly stopped to sniff the air. Atsumu nearly shrunk into himself, fear clouding his judgement. He didn't want to be scared, but his father was unpredictable.

"You smell disgusting, wash that off, right now!"

"No", Atsumu disobeyed with a scoff. On the inside, he was shaking terribly, his heart was beating against his chest so much, he feared it might just rip through his chest. His ears were ringing, his father's voice echoing in his mind like a broken record.

He felt the sharp sting of his father's palm against his cheek, it burned and brought tears to his eyes. He held the left side of his face. He knew what it felt like, but it didn't hurt any less just because he had felt it a hundred times before. His father repeated himself, as if his son hadn't heard him the first time.

"Wash it off!"

"I will not wash it off, you noisy pig!!", Atsumu answered stubbornly. He was scared of feeling soap against his legs and back, let alone water. It would hurt like hell, like the last time he had tried to shower after his mother molded weirdly shaped bruises into his skin with a belt, because she had felt like one of her sons was a pure disappointment; a mistake. His back, his legs, the palms of his hands, his hips, the entirety of his skin was colorful like a rainbow. Blue and green, yellow and purple, some red. It was the reason for his choice of clothing, because he didn't want anyone to see just how bad it really was. His wardrobe consisted of big, baggy clothing that covered up most of his skin. Long sleeved shirts, turtlenecks, big hoodies. He never wore shorts or t-shirts, not even in summer; not like he owned any. To his luck, it was December and warm clothes didn't make him sweat like crazy in his desperate attempts to hide his shame.

The noise stirred up his mother, who came stomping into the hallway from the living room, the tv still running in the back.

"What is this commotion about? Shut the hell up, your brother is studying!"

"He's not studying! He is probably talking to his stupid boyfriend and not doing shit!"

Now it was his mother who slapped his cheek forcefully. She looked Atsumu deep in the eye.

"Your brother is not a gay shit like you! Be more like him!", she yelled. Her words cut deeper than any knife they had used on him before and Atsumu clenched his fists at his sides.

"Fill the bathtub. We're gonna have to clean him up and wash out his filthy mouth with soap, because he stinks like a fucking alcoholic and doesn't know how to treat other people with respect", his father commanded his mother, who hurried up the stairs to prepare the water. She didn't care to make it warm water, they needed it and wouldn't let Atsumu have that privilege.

Atsumus eyes widened, fists unclenching in shock. He didn't have much time to think about what to do as he felt his breath get stuck in his throat when he tried to make a run for it, but his father grabbed him around his torso in time and carried him roughly, following his wife to the bathroom. No matter how much he struggled and fought his father's hold on him, no matter how much he yelled to be let down and no matter how much he flailed around, his father's grip did not falter.

The man walked into the small room and closed the door behind them. He was set down on the cold Blu tiles on the floor. He remembered his parents not really looking at him directly while they forced him to move and Atsumu didn't really understand anything anymore. This couldn't be just because he didn't make breakfast. Or did he deserve it?

His father pushed him to sit in the freezing cold water of the bathtub. The coolness of the water drenched the old pullover and joggers he was wearing and in almost no time at all, he couldn't feel his toes. His hands were desperately grasping the edge of the tub when his father attempted to pull his head underwater.

"No, no! No don't-", Atsumu begged, feared for his life. They wouldn't drown him, would they? They couldn't just kill him. His mother used his moment of hesitation and fear to squeeze soap into his mouth, making him choke and cry out. He tried to spit it out, but he wasn't thinking straight, hiccuping and sobbing, swallowing a lot of it without wanting to. It tasted awful and his almost completely empty stomach was in disagreement with the product.

"Don't spit it out when we waste it on you, you ungrateful child!", his mother told him firmly, not yelling for once. She really did mean it and Atsumu couldn't understand. Why they did this, why they hurt him. Why he had to feel this way and how long it would last.

On the first try to get his head underwater Atsumu struggled so much against his father's hold that instead of hitting the water surface, he hit his temple against the edge of the tub with such force, it immediately drew blood, dripping into the water relentlessly. It was turning pink, slowly but surely.

When he was distracted with the foul taste in his mouth that made him gag and the open wound on his head that shook his whole frame, his father forced his head underwater and held it there. All the air he had left in his body was kicked out of him in one swift movement. He coughed and the air in his lungs was replaced with water. His cuts were burning, his bruised up hands hurt like hell, his head was throbbing against his skullcap. He couldn't process what was really happening. Panic was making his sight white and unclear. He felt like he was about to die.

He didn't know how long he was under the surface of the water or how much of it might be in his lungs. He just knew he couldn't breathe and nothing he did made it even a little better. He couldn't do anything.

The amount of time his head was held underwater by his father might have been a couple of seconds, a minute at most, but for the boy it had felt like hours, days, months or years, even. He couldn't tell the difference anymore. It felt all the same to him. Everyday was the same hell for him. He had always been feeling like he was not in control and tried to overplay it. Everything was always out of his control and it drove him insane. There were no happy times he could remember, no happy memory he could conjure up in his mind if he felt lonely, except for his brother. Or how his brother used to be. But he had changed too. And It had been the one thing Atsumu was afraid of. To lose his only contact person, someone he could trust and talk to when things got too much, was like the floor being swept away right under his feet. This moment, though, had been the worst by far and his brother hadn't even noticed.

Osamu had turned out to be a genius at young age. That's when it all had started, around their 13th birthday. Osamu used to come and help Atsumu calm down, sneak him some water and snacks when their parents hurt him or made him feel less than Osamu, because he was so much smarter. When they found out about that, they renovated to give each of them a separate room, with the explanation that Atsumu would poison his brother with his bad behavior. Osamu continued helping until they turned 15. One day, their mother had an extreme outlash where she didn't only hurt Atsumu, but also Osamu. She apologized to Osamu, rocking him in her arms and whispering praises to him. Atsumu assumed that being hurt by someone who usually praised you for everything, scared him a lot and that it was the reason he didn't come to help his twin anymore. Last year, he would still watch with a worried expression when Atsumu got hit, cut, whipped, but now that they're both 17, Osamu didn't so much as bring Atsumu cake on their birthday, anymore. He had always brought him cake, at least. Atsumu hadn't had a proper birthday since he was 13. He was mad at his brother and he envied him a lot. He was praised, he had a secret boyfriend; everything, he had everything Atsumu didn't.

Never before did they go so far, not even when he got a 4 in Math, not even when he forgot to take off his shoes when he entered the house or when he didn't clean up properly. He must've really fucked up. He knew it wasn't true, couldn't be true, he tried to always tell himself that I wasn't his fault, but it was more than just hard to find a light in the tunnel when everyone constantly blew out his light of hope. When he caught his breath again, almost coughing up blood from the force of it, he was alone. Floating in the pink water, which didn't even feel cold anymore, he looked around. Osamu hadn't noticed. Of course.

Without a second thought he ran down the stairs, slipping but catching himself just in time, leaving a wet trail in his way. He grabbed his shoes in one quick motion even though his head was spinning wildly. There was something creeping up his throat, it was tightening, preventing him from sobbing or making any noise at all. He wanted to make it go away, even if he didn't know how. So he slipped on his shoes without tying the laces and made a run for it. He was hit with the cold winter air, making his teeth clatter. He wanted to yell and scream and let all of his feelings out but the forest was one too many sprints away and in his damaged state, he only made it one block from home before he ran out of air. When he tried to speak, he started coughing once more, each one ripping through his body like thunder. The taste of coconut soap was still lingering on his gums and he feared that it might not ever go away. He touched his temple lightly, flinching when it hurt a lot more than he expected. Looking at his fingers, he saw his own blood tinted them red.

From one moment to the other he started processing what had happened and he started to panic. His breathing became rapid. He thought walking from left to right, sitting down, sitting up again, would maybe distract him, but it didn't. He kicked his leg up, punched the wall and cried out at the additional pain, cursing himself for being so useless and ignorant and petty. For his foul mouth, inability and dumbness. For being an ugly, forgetful miscarriage. His knuckles were scraped up and burning like someone had thrown salt on them, his legs were almost not holding his weight, his head was pounding against his scalp, his throat was aching with every breath he took; everything hurt. He noticed himself flailing his arms when he started hiccuping and sobbing, gasping for air that just didn't seem to want to make their way into his lungs. He didn't want to have a panic attack, he hated those with a burning passion. He wasn't in control of his own body, and he despised it. He didn't want this, any of this, but it wasn't his choice to make. Atsumu rubbed at his eyes, biting down on his lips and trying to keep his screams inside, even if it hurt, even if it choked him.

'You're okay… you're o-okay, it's all f-fne, don't worry it will be fine, it's gonna be fine-'

When he heard someone clear their throat, Atsumu gasped louder than ever before and turned his head to the direction it came from, holding his heart in shock. Leaning out of his window was the boy with the black curly hair. His expression was slightly annoyed, but even with his vision being blurry and his whole body shaking, Atsumu could see there was kindness behind that gaze. He knew angered eyes, even if he didn't understand their cause.

As soon as the boy noticed the condition Atsumu seemed to be in, his face changed into a worried one. The window was low enough for Atsumu to be almost on the same height as the boy, what made them to be only 2 meters apart.

"Oh god, you're bleeding! Are you okay? Can I help you somehow? Oh god, there's so much blood..", the boy put a hand over his mouth and gagged a little, retreated from the window and was back a second later with a handful of wet wipes.

"Ah- hey, you're that- … ah, my head… hurts..", Atsumu tried to tell he recognized the boy, but the ache in his temple made it hard to articulate himself. His whole body was shaking, even though it wasn't that cold outside; probably around 7°C. The gentle, cold breeze felt nice on his face, but the clothes sticking to his skin still felt icky and heavy. He still wouldn't just take them off. If no one saw, then no one knew.

"C-...", the boy started, but stopped himself to sigh heavily and put on a mask that covered his mouth," Come over here, I'll help you"

Atsumu limped over the short distance to the window and placed his chin down on the sill. His hands were holding himself up just barely as he felt the adrenaline leaving his body. When the other looked at his hands, he gasped.

"Those look terrible! Look at all these patterns across them. They indicate that you didn't drink enough water. When was the last time you drank today?", the black haired boy was gentle when he held Atsumus head to wipe off all the blood that was flowing down the side of his face. To Atsumu, he seemed really disgusted of the blood or maybe just him in general; he couldn't tell. While the other pulled down his mask to talk, Atsumu watched side of his lip going up, nose scrunched. Definitely disgust.

"Why are you doing this, new kid?", he asked him weakly, looking up at him. Atsumu saw that he was clearly not excited about blood.

"I'm not 'New Kid', I have a name. Also, you're about the same age as me so I have empathy…"

He walked away from the window and Atsumu almost thought he had annoyed him so much to make him leave like everyone else in his life, but he came back with a small water bottle. He opened the lid and gently held Atsumus chin to help him drink.

"Drink this…", he said gently. On further examination, Atsumu noticed the dark eyes and eyebrows on the boys face. He found two moles, one atop the other, above his right eyebrow and thought it suited him really well; made him look cute. Atsumu barely noticed the pain he felt when the water made its way down into his body. But there was something else still bothering him. He turned his head away quickly and spat out the last bit of the water, what had the other flinch hard.

"Still tastes like soap.. urg.."

"Why was there soap in you mouth?!", the boy asked bewildered. His eyebrows shot up in confusion and horror and his moles moved a little, along with his delicate, white skin.

"They washed it out with… soap and almost drowned me.. I woke up alone in the bathtub and now all my clothes are wet, it's really uncomfortable and cold…", Atsumu complained in a voice that made his problems seem a lot smaller than they actually were; a bad habit of his that just didn't want to die.

"... Who is 'They'?"

Atsumu rubbed at his sore eyes while the drenched seam of his hoodie was dripping water onto his now wet shoes.

"My parents…", he scoffed, a mad expression painting his features. In a matter of seconds, however, his face changed, bottom lip trembling, eyes glossing over. Atsumu wanted to sound mad, he wanted to be furious with them and take them apart, but from deep within him there was this heartbreaking sadness welling up in his chest and eyes and by the time he found the other boys face again, it was distorted, from the tears that were blocking his view. In his broken state he only knew one thing to do.

"I'm- I'm sorry!", Atsumu hiccuped," I-I'm sorry, I'll just- I'll just go now… Thank you for cleaning me and giving me water. I- I won't bother you again, I'm sorry… sorry", Atsumu sobbed out and quickly walked down the street to the forest, limping a bit.

He disappeared from Sakusas view when he entered the forest a few blocks away; it was blurry, but he could still see the blondes hair clearly. He was perplexed, he couldn't move away from his window, couldn't rip his eyes from the place where the other boy vanished from his sight and into the forest, he had yet to see. How could someone do something so cruel to their child? Did they hit him? Did they not feed him? They made him swallow soap and almost drowned him, why? He was a complete mess.

His train of thought left him when he heard his mother's voice call him quietly. He made his way to the kitchen carefully and started making dinner for his parents, who were both too busy to either look, listen nor care for their son. All the while he was cooking, the blonde boy was bothering him in his mind. He kept thinking about his bruised, dehydrated skin and those sad yellowish eyes. He would probably be outside still, but the sun would be setting soon and the nights were cold in winter, terribly so. He made an extra portion of chicken breast with rice and peas, put one portion each into a tupperware container along with cutlery and didn't even bother hiding it from his parents view. They wouldn't notice or care either way.

"Dinner's ready and I'm going out, mom!", Sakusa yelled, sticking the tupperware and some other stuff into his backpack and shouldered it after putting on a jacket. He let out a little 'oof' at the weight of it all, but straightened his back. His parents wouldn't even notice anything was missing, anyway. When he didn't get a response, which he didn't expect, he still tried again, louder this time. He always tried again, just to make sure.

"I'm leaving forever, mom!"

"What did you say, sweetheart?", the woman asked from the living room, not bothering to stand up and walk over to her son to talk to him, to get a better understanding.

"I said I'm going into the forest to kill myself!"

But his mother, sitting in front of her laptop while she typed away on it, didn't listen to what the words were her son said. She only heard his voice vaguely and it was seemingly enough for her.

"Yeah, that's nice sweetie, have fun", she replied belatedly. She didn't give him a curfew, didn't ask him to be careful, didn't even know where he was going, who he was meeting, when he'll be back. But she just didn't care one bit, Sakusa had understood that at an early age. Yet, it didn't stop the pit in his stomach from hurting. He brushed it off, sighing, like he always did and pushed a flashlight into his backpack. Sakusa sighed a little, while he put on his shoes and left the cold house that he now had to call his home. It didn't feel like it and he didn't know what could make him think that way.

When he stood at the entrance to the forest, the big trees standing high above his eyes could see, he clutched the strap of his backpack in one hand and his asthma spray in the other, as he swallowed hard. He could feel goosebumps crawling up his skin and shook himself once before he hesitantly stepped into its depths.

After he had been tumbling around trees he thought he had seen for the fourth time now, he started to doubt he would ever find the other boy. Every tree looked the same to him and anytime there was a noise or he saw a critter or insect, he'd screech and grab his lighter, ready to burn things down. He took a few deep breaths and looked around, hoping to see blonde hair.

'What am I even doing this for? Urg'

When he set his foot down, annoyed with nature and animals, he stepped into something wet, his shoe sinking a little bit. When he looked down and held up his foot, he saw a tiny puddle of water pooled where his footprint was. He followed the trail of wet ground and after some walking, made it into a clearing. A bit further in, was a stream flowing over into a pond further off. The rocks next to it were big enough to have a picnic on and covered in moss; it looked beautiful, green and untouched. On the other side of the stream he saw the blonde boy. He was sitting on the moss, his knees hiked up while he hugged his own body to his chest. He was still shaking and his eyes were empty as he watched a few fish swim around in the water.

"Hey, blondie!", Sakusa waved at him and got him to lift his head, eyes going wide. He placed his hands on the moss underneath him and almost looked like a frightened animal, about to run off again. Sakusa wanted to close the distance between them, but the stream was roughly 2 meters in width, and Sakusa wasn't able to jump over it. Not to mention, the moss was wet and slippery and the fact that Sakusa wasn't the most athletically inclined person.

"Please! Please don't run away again, I'm not mad!!", he said. Sakusa held up his backpack and continued, when he noticed the boy relax a bit.

"I brought you a change of clothes and a blanket and food..! Is it okay if I come over to you?"

The blonde tilted his head a little and seemed to be coming back to his senses. His eyes narrowed in suspicion and Sakusa could almost see the cogs in head moving. A short moment later he got up, walked into the water and over to Sakusa, before he could protest. He sat down on the biggest rock, ross-legged and looked up to Sakusa with tired, fogged eyes.

"Atsumu…", he mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what…?"

"My name is not blondie, it's Atsumu"

Sakusa nodded his head and carefully sat down next to him. He put his bag between his legs and took out various things, starting with a pair of joggers and a hoodie. He held it out to Atsumu, smiling lopsidedly.

"I'm Sakusa. I brought this for you. I thought that after what you told me you wouldn't wanna go home, but the nights get really cold out so- … please change into these", Sakusa explained, also taking a small towel from his backpack. Atsumu looked at the clothes and then back at Sakusa.

"Why are you- you don't have to… I don't deserve any of this", Atsumu sniffed a little, eyebrows knitting together. He was overwhelmed by the kindness of this stranger and didn't know how to accept his offer. He was too used to regretting his decisions, to ever dare try and let another person into his life. He just shook his head, shutting his eyes.

"Hey hey, it's okay, calm down first. You don't have to tell me what happened, but no one should look this exhausted and- and broken at- 16? 17? So please just- dry yourself, put on these clothes and let me wrap you into this blanket and feed you, you're awakening my protective instincts…", Sakusa rambled, "I won't look, I promise"

Even though he was scared, he trusted Sakusa this much. Just a look into his eyes made him remember that they were kind and beautiful and also a little cold. Not in themselves, but in the way he was treated. Atsumu wiped his eyes a little and nodded reluctantly as he bit down on his lips, a few tears leaking from his eyes. He took the things Sakusa gave him, walked behind him, so they stood back to back, and started peeling out of his clothes. He took off everything, shivered audibly, quickly dried himself and put Sakusas clothes on. The hoodie didn't cover his neck, so he first dried his hair a little and then put the hood over his head, pulling on the strings to make the hole smaller. That way, Sakusa wouldn't see his neck and the bruises that came with it. When he sat back down next to Sakusa and watched him while the other wrapped a blanket around him, he felt his cheeks heat up. He started feeling warm and smiled softly, for it's been a long while since he felt cared for. Sakusa continued to rummage around in his things and gave Atsumu a pair of black socks. He took off his old sneakers and socks that had holes in them, dried his feet and put the new socks on, before he was handed a fork and a knife. Confused, he searched the others face.

"I made you food", Sakusa mumbled, placing the tupperware into his hands; it was still warm. Atsumu opened it with trembling hands, watched a little steama puff into the air and proceeded to look at Sakusa in utter disbelief.

"Don't look at me like that. You looked like you didn't eat a proper meal in months so dig in before it gets cold…", Sakusa defended himself as he opened his own and shoved a forkful of rice into his mouth, a blush masked by his cold voice. Atsumu hesitated. After a few moments of watching Sakusa eat peas one by one like a chickling, he mumbled a quiet 'Thank you for the meal' before he started eating, savouring every bite.

"So new kid-"

"Sakusa", he interrupted.

"Gesundheit. So, Sakusa, why- … Why did you bring me all this stuff? I'm- thank you very much, really, thank you but-... I'm just a teeny tiny bit confused. I don't understand why you're helping me. You don't even know me or my situation"

Sakusa stared into the air, grabbed his water bottle, taking a few sips before he held it out to Atsumu, without looking his way. He watched the water of the stream flow and the fish dance around in it without a care in the world, like Atsumu had just moments before.

"You looked- … Your eyes they were… screaming for help", he explained, turning his head to look at the blonde. Atsumu didn't know how to respond to that, inhaled and only drank a little bit of water instead. It burned.

He was warm, his stomach was full and his wounds didn't hurt as much anymore, but he had a bad headache. Sakusa must've sensed that and gave Atsumu a painkiller.

"Take this and them let me clean your injury properly, alright, Atsumu?"

He didn't know what it was exactly, but something about the way Sakusa said his name made Atsumu warm all over and he swallowed down the painkiller gratefully. Sakusa pulled a pocket sized first aid kit out of his backpack and Atsumu wondered how many other things he had managed to store inside there. Sakusa kneeled in front of Atsumu and grabbed a tiny bottle, what he assumed, must be some kind of disinfectant.

"This might sting a bit"

As gently as possible, Sakusa placed his hand over Atsumus eyes and sprayed antiseptic on his temple. Atsumu couldn't hold back a hiss, but after seconds, it felt refreshing. Not making any sound at all, Sakusa continued, softly sticking sutures to his wound in concentration. It felt odd.

"Your hand is cold…", he murmured, barely opening his lips to let out the soft words. Quickly, Sakusa retrieve his hand from Atsumus face, a small blush tinting his cheeks. He was glad Atsumu wasn't looking his way to see it.

"Sorry-"

"No, I liked it…", Atsumu, still with closed eyes, whispered, reaching out blindly. He touched the others hand, what had both of them flinching, which was weird because Sakusa had followed his every movement with his eyes. Following his instincts Atsumu took the others hand and placed it on his aching cheek, sighing in relief at the cool touch. He wanted to warm Sakusas hand. Atsumu indulged himself in this moment and only opened his eyes when he heard Sakusa gasp for the third time that day.

"You're too warm here, your cheek is-… Did they slap you?"

The blonde didn't need to answer his questions, he knew. He felt the minimal movement of Sakusa trying to take his hand away from his cheek, not wanting to hurt him or get too close, but he denied it, squeezed down on it softly. It felt too comforting, too nice for Atsumu to let go and he thought he couldn't release his hold, even if he wanted to. It took seconds for Sakusa to realize he, too, couldn't deny Atsumu his touch. That he actually enjoyed the closeness to the blonde boy didn't cross his mind as something that seemed plausible, at the time. Atsumu wrapped the blanket around Sakusas frame and it forced them to cuddle closer together; they didn't complain. Atsumu laid down his head on the taller ones shoulder as the sun disappeared behind the horizon and drowned them in darkness. Both of them knew the feeling all too well.

When the moon was high in the sky Atsumu stirred and turned his face to Sakusa, who seemed to be fast asleep. He didn't snore, but made a chirping noise out of his nose. Absentmindedly, Atsumu started counting moles on the other boy. He touched each of them gently, as to not wake him up and smiled when he counted up to 13 with only his arm and face and neck. They were a big contrast to the pale, soft skin he had, making Atsumu think of a dalmatian puppy. After watching Sakusas peaceful sleeping face for a few more seconds Atsumu decided to wake him up, squeezing his hand.

"Hey, Sakusa… It's around eleven pm, shouldn't you go home? Aren't your parents waiting for you?"

His dark eyebrows furrowed, long eyelashes fluttering as Atsumu brushed a black lock out of his eyes. He rubbed them and brushed his nose to Atsumus, too tired to keep a distance when Atsumu felt so warm.

"They don't even know I'm gone. I could throw a party, make a riot I could- I don't know, shit into the hallway, they wouldn't notice", his voice was sleepy, a bit sluggish.

"So they wouldn't notice me either?", Atsumus voice sounded too hopeful for Sakusa to tell him no. The question of where to go that night was there all evening, but finding an answer was no easy deal for Sakusas conscious. He knew exactly what Atsumu was trying to say and Sakusa got uncharacteristically happy. Having someone to talk to was nice. Sharing food and blankets made him smile. Soft touches, just the presence of another person who didn't judge him, felt like everything he ever wanted. Sakusa would be damned if he missed his chance. So he nodded, hiding his smile behind the blanket.

"They won't notice a thing", Sakusa agreed," Let's get going"

Atsumu smiled to himself as they walked to Sakusas house, hand in hand with the only thing illuminating their jointed hands being the moonlight. Sakusa was walking in front, refusing to look at the other. His face was flushed and he was embarrassed by the warm feeling in his gut. It was completely new and interesting, but also terrifying. He felt himself grow addicted to Atsumu and he was okay with that. Maybe, he thought, he could listen to his gut this time. Maybe, two wrongs could make a right.

They hadn't tried to be quiet, tip toeing to Sakusas room, hanging up Atsumus drenched clothes on the heater. The room was dark, only a small reading lamp giving them sight, made them stumble on themselves, clinging to the other, hoping to land softly if they fell. Sitting down on Sakusas bed, rubbing his eyes, Atsumu mustered Sakusa as he pulled another blanket from a box, placing it on the bed.

"The one you gave me earlier is just fine, I don't need another one…"

"No! It was outside and there's bugs and ants and it's dirty now and I don't want that in my bed!", Whisper-shouted Sakusa. "While we're at it, change into these"

The black haired boy handed Atsumu a new change of clothes. Realizing what Sakusa had said, Atsumus eyes widened and his hands came together in a nervous fidget.

"I'm- … I'm sleeping in your bed? But where will you sleep? I can't just steal your bed and-", he wondered a little embarrassed, biting his lips and adding a little: "I also don't have a boxer…"

"I will sleep in my bed, of course", Sakusa mumbled, facing away to hide his rosy cheeks, grabbing a boxer from another box and throwing it on Atsumus head. "And there you go"

Atsumu looked up from under the piece of clothing. It was covering his bruised eye. He looked small, vulnerable. Would it not be for his wounded face, then he would be just, Sakusa thought, just a little bit cute and a little bit handsome. Sakusa blamed his bruised cheek for not finding Atsumu attractive and it seemed wrong, very wrong and felt wrong, too. He was handsome, even with them, but Sakusa wouldn't admit that just yet. Using this as is excuse was the only thing he could use to not admit Atsumu was a pretty boy. Which he was.

A short moment neither of them said anything. They just stared at each other, caught up in their own thoughts, only for both of them to start blushing terribly and averting their eyes, at the thought of sleeping together in the same bed. Catching up with reality, Sakusa grabbed his inhaler and fiddled with it while Atsumu grabbed the boxer from his head. His blush deepened in a matter of seconds. It was almost desperate. He knew he could have just said no, could've said he'd sleep on the floor and that would have been it, but he couldn't. Something told him he shouldn't, that it was okay to let him have this. So he didn't, and even if it was a little embarrassing, it felt better than anything he was ever lucky enough to feel.

"Please don't look… okay? I'm-", Atsumu stopped himself. He didn't really know what he was about to say. I'm ugly, wouldn't be quite right. It wasn't him that was ugly, it was his bruises and his cuts that lay low on his stomach and arms. I'm shy, wouldn't be true, either. If his body wasn't covered in colorful, hurting patterns, he would gladly let others take a look at him, but that wasn't the case. He had them, painting his body in greens and purples and he felt that they made him less attractive. It was the bruises that made him feel ugly, because, would it not be for them, he wouldn't have to hide.

"You're what…?"

Sakusas stomach dropped at the others sudden change of emotions. He would have turned around himself, no questions asked. But now, watching Atsumu open up to him little by little made him perk up, come closer, curious and interested. What would he see beyond his walls he worked on building up his whole life. Would Sakusa just be able to break them down? Well, if he did, then it wouldn't be this day.

"I just don't want anyone to see me like this. I want them to fade. I'm- I'm me, Atsumu, one color. Happy. I wanna be happy. But as long as they paint me black and blue with hatred and fear, I'll hide", Atsumu pleaded. He placed his hands on Sakusas shoulders, squeezed them lightly and turned him around with a pained smile, before he changed out of Sakusas clothes into new ones.

Sitting down on the bed together was awkward at first. They didn't quite know how to position themselves, having lost the momentum from earlier by the stream. Sakusa was sitting, his back against the cold wall. Atsumu laid on his back, his head on Sakusas thigh, resting comfortably. His headache was fading into oblivion, the more he felt Sakusa play with his greasy hair. He made a mental note for himself to let Atsumu take a shower the next day and to change his sheets.

In Sakusas bed, stealing each other's warmth and seeking comfort, they squeezed together under Sakusas covers. After some more whispered exchanges, they fell asleep with the second blanket long forgotten.

When Atsumu woke up the next morning, it wasn't due to his alarm or his anxiety. He felt a hand shake his shoulder lightly and opened his eyes. He wasn't surprised to find the other boy next to him, sitting on the bed.

"It's already seven am, you have to get going right?", Sakusa asked as he changed from his t-shirt from yesterday into a new one. Atsumu smiled and stretched his limbs, biting back a pained groan. Sakusas torso, too, was covered in tiny moles, Atsumu spied. Opening his wardrobe, Sakusa grabbed a random shirt and placed it next to Atsumu on the bed. To Atsumus luck, Sakusas clothes were all a bit big on him. The hoodie Atsumu was given the night before, which also belonged to Sakusa, was lying on the floor. Sakusa reasoned that Atsumu must've taken it off in his sleep because it was hot next to one another.

"It starts at 8…", he yawned, sitting up and watching Sakusa scurry around his room, " Are you coming, too?"

When his eyes wandered over Atsumus exposed neck and collarbones, because the shirt hugging him loosely had slipped down at the front, he pretended to not see the bright purple of the bruises that were given to him, for whichever reason. Sakusa instinctively took the shirt he had placed on the bed, and replaced it with a turtle neck of his. Sakusa was keen on finding out more about him, but he wouldn't rush things. He didn't know why, but he felt like something was telling him that Atsumu would be a great addition to his life and that, even if he didn't want it to, it would still have a big influence on him in some kind of sense.

Sakusa stopped in his tracks while he pushed the hair out of his face, held his hands out as to stop something from falling down and said:"...-Breakfast! … And oh, uh, no! I'm-.. uh I'm homeschooled. My parents already left for work so let's go eat some- … breakfast"

Atsumu nodded in agreement, pursing his lips as he watched Sakusa press books, blocks and pens against his chest. He was a little tense again, turning his head every which way. Standing in the door, he turned his head back. It looked like he was debating over something in his mind, but he just kept quiet for a bit, casting his sight down at the floor.

"Come, I'll make you your favorite"

Atsumu grinned, getting up slowly. Trusting Sakusa wouldn't peek at him, he grabbed the turtleneck the black haired boy had given to him. He took the big shirt off and pulled the turtleneck over his head, before he slowly walked over to Sakusa. The blonde put his pointer underneath Sakusas chin and lifted it up, for Atsumu wanted to see his face as he said: "You don't know what my favorite is, though"

With his cheeks tinted in peach, Sakusa smiled softly, accepting the challenge. He walked to the kitchen, slipping out of Atsumus fingers reach. Atsumu lunged forward, so he'd be at Sakusas tail and hummed softly. The Raven haired boy put down his things in the living room and was back in the kitchen a second later.

"I was hoping to find out…", he murmured softly, walking past Atsumu to stand in front of the heat plates. Of course, Atsumu couldn't deny him. He felt safe enough to move around the kitchen, without running fear of being hit or yelled at. The space of the room was the same as in his house, but due to its different interior design, it seemed a lot bigger and spacious. The only thing lacking was color. Everything was white, grey or black. It seemed that Atsumu hadn't noticed this house was already being renovated before the boy arrived yesterday. All the furniture looked too in-place and thought out, that it was impossible for them to have done all of that in just one day. Or maybe everything had already been in this style beforehand, he didn't know, but it mattered little to him.

Taking small steps, Atsumu moved to stand behind Sakusa. Slowly, as if he could burn himself, he wrapped his hands around Sakusas waist, placing his chin on the others shoulder. After the first bruises he ever received had appeared on his skin long ago, he started to always be careful when touching others. One could never know if they hid their scars too, if they hurt; even if it was just emotionally. Atsumu was still careful, to this day. He looked over Sakusas shoulder, his locks tickling the blondes cheeks, making him humm once more. He couldn't see just how hard Sakusa was biting his lips.

"My favorite is…- I hadn't had it in a long time but, can you make an Omelette?"

He needed a second to breathe and relax, before he answered. Nodding his head Sakusa pulled everything he needed from the shelves and fridge to prepare the meal. Walking out of Atsumus embrace, what had him grumbling, making grabby hands for the other boy who gave him so much affection, he got addicted to Atsumu wanting his touch. Being wanted, needed, it was a really good feeling.

Sakusa was upset at the thought that Atsumu hadn't eaten something as simple as an Omelette in a long time. It wasn't like his own parents cooked for Sakusa, but at least he had the chance to cook and make meals for himself. It didn't seem to be the same for Atsumu and it hurt his chest. Atsumu also didn't seem like the type who knew how to cook. Maybe he was one of those people who could burn a salad, Sakusa would find out. It didn't shake him when they ate together at the table. Neither did he forget about it when Atsumu left for school and gave Sakusa a quick hug that he didn't wanna let go of. He didn't forget when his teacher arrived. He couldn't get his mind off the other boy, not even when his teacher made him snap out of it, by hitting his fingers with a ruler. Sakusa ignored the pain and instead thought about that Atsumu couldn't go back to his parents house, no matter what and, even if he knew it was wrong, he wanted to keep Atsumu with him. He wanted to have Atsumu for himself. While he learned about economics and biology and thought about how he could keep the blonde safe, said boy was in school looking for his best friend. He wasn't pleased about who found him instead.

"Where were you last night!? I was worried sick you idiot. Listen, I-", enraged, Osamu followed Atsumu through the hall and to Atsumus horror, all eyes were on them. Atsumu, for the most part, ignored his twin, just like he had been ignored the day before and kept walking. He wouldn't believe a single word his brother said after having been let down by his him oh so many times. He wouldn't forgive him this easily, especially not like this, not in public, not in school of all places. Close behind Osamu was his secret boyfriend, Suna Rintarou. Holding onto his sleeve, he was trying to calm his significant other down, but once Osamu was really mad, he would show it, and he did. He ripped his arm away from Suna and grabbed Atsumu by the back of the turtleneck, making his brother choke out and hold his throat from the impact. Having his turtleneck yanked on, pressed the fabric into his bruise and it ached, made it hard to breathe. With burning eyes, Atsumu turned to look at his sibling. Osamus eyes widened when they fell on the snippet of blue and purple stains that were covering Atsumus neck, big and dark. Way too late, the boy noticed from all the states, that Sakusas turtleneck hugging his frame less than his own would, wasn't covering his neck all the way. It was loose and the part that was supposed to be tight on his neck fell loose. He held his hand over it in an attempt to hide it. With his eyes glazing over, his eyebrows furrowing deeply, it was there, that he drew the line. Before any tears could overflow and leak from his eyes red, he got closer to Osamu, their noses almost touching, bottom lip trembling, cheek an unpleasant shade of red.

"I hope you're happy with your stupid boyfriend and your stupid good grades. I hope you're fucking happy", Atsumu spat, his words weak with sadness, just like he was, before he turned on his heel and ran off, in hopes to find Kuroo.

Yes, Kuroo would always help him, no matter what. His friendship to the tall boy was precious to him and he wouldn't trade it for the world. Both of them shared a similar kind of experiences. There was a mutual understanding between them. It communicated that what was happening to them wasn't okay and it might take long for things to get better. Instead of lying, they were just someone for the other to lean on when things got rough.

Atsumu skipped classes for the rest of the day. He had waited for Kuroo to show up at their secret spot during lunch, but the other never came. Maybe, Atsumu thought while he wiped at his wet eyes, he was just sick. He thought of visiting his friend, but remembered that Kuroo didn't feel safe with telling people where he lived after that one incident, long before Kuroo became "cool". He had invited Atsumu over but never told him the address and Atsumu hadn't questioned it. Atsumu remembered snippets of the story Kuroo had told him, when he had been a complete mess and sobs had been ripping through his body. The boys name was Daishou. Atsumu couldn't remember all the details, but what he knew was that Kuroo and him had dated once, a long while ago, but then, when Kuroos homely situation got out of hand and he hadn't needed anything more than someone to lean on, Daishou had broken up with him. Kuroos life was falling apart and he was close to just ending it all when Atsumu had found him in the forest. He talked him out of it, he still doesn't understand how he did it, but he's glad he did. Things stabilized and soon Kuroo became a cool kid. Of course, Daishou had heard of that and wanted Kuroo back, but Kuroo developed a big crush on Yaku Morisuke. Atsumu thought that they fit together perfectly. They bickered like a married couple and Yaku was just the coolest guy Atsumu had ever met. Kind, brave, non-judgemental. The only concern Atsumu had was Kuroo being too shy and scared to tell Yaku the whole truth about him, after them dating for almost 3 months now. Yaku wasn't the type to judge people for things that were out of their control, but Kuroo told him that things were just going so well, he didn't want to risk and lose that again.

Before he could stand up to leave, he noticed someone looming and throwing a shade over him. Looking up, Atsumus face scrunched up in disgust.

"What the heck fuck do you want, Suguru?", asked Atsumu, standing up and glaring at the green haired boy. Daishou only smiled, wicked and fake and grabbed Atsumu by the shoulder to roughly push him against the wall behind him. He got close to Atsumus ear and growled.

"If I were you, I'd listen to what I have to say, or you can say goodbye to your dear best friend", he hissed.

"... Spit it out, bitch"

Daishou laughed, his voice rotten. He pushed Atsumu further and grinned when he gasped in pain.

"Now listen here. You'll have to say goodbye and end your friendship with Kuroo or else I will make him suffer"

Atsumu only laughed. Daishou had always been an idiot but this was ridiculously stupid. No way in hell would Atsumu quit his friendship with Kuroo just because his crazy ex wanted him to. There had to be a catch.

"He has lived through things worse than you, so, no thank you, assface", Atsumu pushed the other away forcefully and went to leave the secret spot. Guess Daishou knew about that, too. When he spoke up again, Atsumu froze.

"I also know your brothers secret… and yours, too, Atsumu Miya. Kuroo likes to talk, you know.."

"You do not know this from him, he would never say anything to anyone!", and it was true. Kuroo had only met Atsumu after Daishou broke up with him and they hadn't talked anymore. Atsumu wasn't stupid, that snake wouldn't mess with his head.

"Hmm. You're right. It was your brothers boyfriend that told me. I know everything, even more than you. Suna is on my side. He doesn't want to keep their relationship a secret anymore and I could make that happen but-.. Oh, what would happen then?", asked Daishou, a rhetorical question. Because he knew, just as well as Atsumu did. If their parents knew about Osamu being gay, the same fate would fall over him.

Atsumu knew that every other person would have just let things happen. They would have told Kuroo the truth and talked to their brother about everything. But Atsumu wasn't every other person and Daishou threatened him with all the things he was scared of the most. He also knew that his brother wasn't always good to him, mostly recently, but he still couldn't bring himself to just tell Daishou to do what he wanted. He cared too much about Osamu an Kuroo to do that. Defeated, his firsts clenched at his sides he scoffed. Turning around, he shot the green haired boy a death glare.

"What do you want me to do?"

Daishous grin widened, splitting his face apart in the dirtiest way before he came slithering closer to Atsumu, until it felt like he was in the grasp of a cobra constrictor, about to be devoured whole.

"Tell Kuroo you can't be friends anymore and don't talk to him again. Don't even think of telling anyone, because if you do, and I'll know if you do, I will tell everyone that your bro is a fucking faggot and break your family apart and have everyone know what happened to Kuroo so they make life hell for him…"

Atsumu was livid, almost lost his composure but just nodded his head. It's for their own good. Even without Atsumu in his life, Kuroo would be happy. And he hated to admit it, but he still cared about his brother enough to not want him to get hurt the same way he had been. So he obeyed.

"I… I will do as you say, under one condition. Stay away from Yaku and Kuroo. I know you started talking to Yaku because you knew Kuroo had a crush on him, but I'm not stupid and I know what you want, but if you even so much as breathe in Kuroos or Yakus direction I will murder you with my own two hands, understood? I won't hesitate"

Once again, Atsumu walked to leave, but stopped again at the sound of Daishous modulated voice.

"It's funny that you think you can beat me at my own game, Miya…"

"God, did anyone ever tell you that you're fucking annoying? So obnoxious, fuck", cursed Atsumu, "Just leave me the fuck alone, I don't wanna see you and your ugly cow lick haircut again"

This time he stopped himself before he was out of Daishous sight. Atsumu grinned a little, chuckling to himself. He wouldn't show Daishou he was scared if his life depended on it.

"See you in hell, bitch", were Atsumus parting words before he left the secret spot. This might be the last time he'll come there and his heart ached, so much he thought he might die right then and there. But, to fate turning against him at every opportunity possible, he remained alive, breathing and hurting.

All he wanted was to talk to Kuroo and tell him how much he meant to him and how precious their friendship was to him, but next time he saw him, he would have to do the opposite for, in Kuroos eyes, no apparent reason whatsoever. Absentmindedly, he slowly paced to Sakusas house. He couldn't wait to just hug him and tell him what had happened, to seek his comfort and count his moles once more. He's the only person Daishou didn't know of and his only contact person after all.

Reaching out with his hand, Atsumu knocked on Sakusas window and waited a few seconds. When there was no response, he tried again, louder this time. Finally, Sakusa opened his window and smiled at Atsumu apologetically. He was wearing a black button up that suited him too well.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you. I was listening to music and cleaning. I changed the sheets…", he said, taking the plugs out of his ears one after the other. Noticing his facial expression, Sakusas smile faded. He mumbled a quick "The door is open, come in" before he closed his window again. When Atsumu stepped into the room, he immediately felt a little better, even more so as Sakusa rushed up to him and hugged him tight. He could tell something wasn't right, but he didn't force it out of him. He waited, rubbing his back comfortingly. It felt so relieving to let himself be squeezed in Sakusas hold that his eyes started watering and his throat slowly sewed shut. He couldn't speak to explain himself, all he could do was cling to Sakusa desperately, almost falling against him in his loss of control. He didn't know what exactly Daishou was planning and he would love to never find out. But luck wouldn't be on his side.

Quietly, Sakusa mumbled comforting words into Atsumus ears, stroking his hair and his arms, trying to help in any way he could.

"Shhh, it's okay. You're safe, you're fine. I got you. I'm here, you're with me, I got you…", shushed Sakusa, making a small grimace at the smell Atsumu gave off. Maybe a shower would be a good idea, he thought. Sakusa wasn't sure if Atsumu would be okay with that, though, especially after what happened the night before. He wouldn't want Atsumu to be uncomfortable, no matter what, but if he were to shower, his injuries, most probably, would hurt him. He was yet to see the scale of how bad they really were and he wasn't sure if he was ready for that. He had to admit that he already cared a lot about Atsumu and pain was something they now shared.

Sniffling, Atsumu took a step back to look at Sakusa with tired eyes. He was exhausted and confused, scared and unsure. Atsumu grimaced, too, when he smelled himself, but the thought of taking a shower made dread pool in his stomach. Without noticing it, he clinged to Sakusa a bit harder.

"I'm sorry, I smell disgusting… ", he started, looking into Sakusas understanding eyes, but trailing off; losing his train of thought completely at the beauty in front of him. Will I ever get used to these eyes..?, he wondered.

"It's uhm- you don't have to shower, but you can wash up with a wet towel if you'd like", Sakusa offered and smiled when the other boy visibly relaxed back into his hold, nodding his head weakly.

"When you're relaxed and ready to tell me, I'm here to listen, yeah?"

"That would be nice… yeah"

Slowly parting from Atsumu, Sakusa grabbed new clothes, a small towel and a deodorant. Instinctively, Atsumu wrapped his arms around himself, a reflex most people have when trying to comfort themselves. He watched Sakusa grab different articles of clothing, checking them for long sleeves and something to cover at least a little of the neck part and smiles. Knowing that he cared so much about Atsumus wishes made his heart warm in the most pleasant way possible. It was new and almost a bit terrifying. First, comes happiness but after that comes the fear of what would happen when Sakusa wasn't there anymore, didn't want to help him anymore. How did he live without him to this point? Atsumu couldn't answer these questions now and pushed the thoughts to the side. It was okay to be happy in there moment, he can be happy with what he has now.

"I don't have any turtlenecks anymore, so is a hoodie okay, as well?", Sakusa turned around, suddenly going quiet as he discovered Atsumus fond expression. The corners of his eyes were wrinkly from his genuine smile spreading over his rosy cheeks. It made Sakusa chuckle in relief, placing the items into Atsumus hands.

"Now go and wash up, you smelly pig"

"I might be smelly, but you're ugly"

"Smelly"

"Ugly", hummed Atsumu affectionately before he walked to Sakusas bathroom in small steps.

Inside, the tiles on the floor were cold and blue, much like the ones he knew from home. He looked around curiously, while the small towel was being drenched in lukewarm water. Slowly and with a lot of care he took off his clothes one by one. Adding a bit of soap Atsumu wiggled the towel around in the water from the sink and wrung it out with shaky hands. The blonde stared at his reflection in the mirror, frowning excessively. His cheek was different from the day before, a red, unpleasant color slowly turning purple. But Sakusa was still nice to him. His temple looked swollen, and still Sakusa cared for him.

Maybe, he thought, Sakusa doesn't care for these things. Maybe I can show him. Maybe it's okay.

Upon not having looked at his legs for a little more than was good, Atsumu was shocked to find an old bruise and another, a bit newer cut being infected, as far as he could tell. That's what he gets for ignoring it for too long. He hurriedly tried to peel off the crust that build on his cut to see if it still was as deep as days before. Immediately, without the crust holding it back, the blood rushed out of the wound and proceeded to flow down his thigh.

"Shit…", hissed Atsumu, grabbing for a few strips of toilet paper. Was it any good to put that on his wound to stop the bleeding, he wasn't sure, but he panicked, thinking of how he had gotten more cuts by his mom because he dirtied the floor with blood. Sakusa didn't like blood at all, what if he got mad, disgusted even? Atsumu quietly sobbed, trying to hold his voice back to not alarm the other boy. No, he didn't have to see this. Atsumu wondered how the crust had held his cut together this whole time, but then again, it probably didn't. All of his wounds opened and closed many times, to the point of him ignoring it, because they would always add more. But now, where he would, hopefully, stay with Sakusa, he didn't want to hide himself anymore.

Atsumu didn't have much time to further think about it when the door was knocked on.

"Atsumu, are you okay? I thought I heard you sniff…"

There were two options to choose from. Option one: Suffering alone and lying to the only person that ever made and effort and went out of their way to help him on their own account and maybe make things worse. Or option two: Tell Sakusa the truth and risk him not liking Atsumu anymore because he looks, smells and simply is disgusting.

"S-Sakusa…", Atsumu whispered hoarsely, throwing away the blood soaked crumples of toilet paper. With now bloody fingertips, he grabbed for more, only for everything he touched to get dirty. He cursed again, dread replacing his common sense.

"Atsumu, what's wrong? Can I come-"

"NO! … Don't come in I'm- I'm fine I just… I-", a sob stopped his lie and he coughed from spit that got caught up in his throat. It made his cut throb painfully and some droplets of blood fall down on the blue tiles, as he held onto the sink, painting it with red fingerprints.

"Atsumu please… Are you hurt? I can help you…"

The fact that he couldn't see Atsumu drove Sakusa crazy and he wanted nothing more than to help him. His hand rested on the doorknob, contemplating whether he should help Atsumu against his will before everything got worse or if it was alright to wait it out and let him open up more. It hasn't been long since they met after all. Hell, it's been a few hours at most.

When he heard a pained cry, Sakusa gripped the knob until his knuckles whitened.

"Atsumu, I'm gonna open the door and help you, if you want to or not. I don't know how severe it is, but I don't want you hurt any longer!"

To Atsumu, his words sounded harsher than they originally were. Sakusa worried, he worried so much that he just couldn't stand by and hear Atsumu cry all by himself. Some people have to be forced to make a step into the right direction. Sakusas words made Atsumu give up and he simply wrapped the damp towel around his hips, sobbing, before the other came in. In that moment he thought Sakusa would come and hurt him, too, or throw him out or bring him to his parents. He couldn't explain it in any other way than to say that Sakusa was already sick of him. His mind had accepted that everyone eventually would, leaving him all the more surprised when none of the things his brain made him think, happened. Instead, he felt a cold hand against his pec, right underneath one of his biggest green bruises.

"I'm gonna treat your wounds now, alright, Atsumu?", asked Sakusa gently, grabbing antiseptic along with some other things.

"Can you sit on the edge of the bathtub for me? We need to run warm water over your injury for a little while"

While Sakusa made sure his hands and equipment were absolutely squeaky clean, Atsumu sat down like Sakusa had asked of him and watched the other intensely. He settled next to Atsumu, grabbed the shower head and waited for the water to turn like warm. When he was sure it was the right temperature, he took Atsumus bloody hands and cleaned them without a word. His face was hard to read, almost as if he didn't feel anything. He looked casual, like how people look out of the window of a bus.

"Sorry, I know you hate blood…", said Atsumus meekly, "and also that you have to see this… I know I look disgusting. I'm sorry"

A little tougher than intended, Sakusa pulled Atsumu against himself, carefully grabbing his thighs and spreading them, letting warm water wash out his cut at the inside of his thigh. Too distracted to even make a sound, Atsumu stared into Sakusas eyes as the other hovered the showerhead over his leg. The water was warm and the blood painted it pink, just like it did so many times before. Without looking up, Sakusa spoke up.

"Atsumu. I don't think you're disgusting at all. You're kinda… cute, actually", Sakusa smiled softly, looking up from Atsumus thigh," now shut up and let me help you, stinky"

This time, Atsumu half sobbed half laughed, smiling at the generous action of the other. Even the insult sounded fond. In response he nodded, watching Sakusa clean his thighs, knees and shins.

"Hey, your hair is so greasy, I think I could open a fries shop that runs off of you", Sakusa stated, shutting off the water and standing up to stretch his muscles and examine Atsumus back. Many old, long bruises covered him, like he had been hit with a ruler or… or belt. Atsumu followed his movements with his eyes and rolled them dramatically.

"Ha ha, very funny, Sakusa", Atsumu smiled lopsidedly even though his voice was very sarcastic. He ran his fingers through his hair and felt his scalp itch a little. It had been 4 or 5 days since he washed his hair and one might think his hair would get used to it, but it greased after only two days and he hated it.

"Do you want me to wash it for you?"

Without giving it much thought, it would seem like Sakusa tried to be as close to Atsumu as he could. He reached out to grab his own shampoo and held it unter Atsumu nose. He flinched a little, expecting the unpleasant scent of coconut, but he was greeted with apple and cinnamon. A tiny nod from Atsumu made the other smile as he placed down the shampoo and grabbed the shower head once again.

"Sit down like this and put your head back", Sakusa instructed, placing a big towel there and having Atsumus back press lightly to the cold white tiles of the bathtub before he put his head in his neck and relaxed. Sakusa wetted his hair thoroughly and whispered something about that the dust has to come out first with the water. Atsumu didn't quite understand, but just trusted the other. He couldn't be all that wrong with the way his dark locks shimmered and how soft they were. First Sakusa put some shampoo in his hands and rubbed it together until it got a different feel to it and proceeded to massage it into Atsumus hair. After just one minute, Atsumu purred and mewled happily. He was enjoying his head massage immensely. Sakusa just grinned a little at making Atsumu feel good, after he had almost broken down again.

"Ahhh… That feels nice, I like it, Sakusa… I like it…"

A little while after more massages to his scalp, Sakusa rinsed the soap off gently, laying a tiny hand towel to Atsumus eyes to be sure that nothing would end up in his eye. Atsumu stood up, but was a bit wobbly on his knees. Sakusa swept Atsumu from his feet when he almost lost footing and carried him to his bed. As gently as he could, he sat him down. Standing in between his legs, Sakusa carried on drying his hair with another small towel.

"Let me treat your wounds and tell me what happened okay? Just take it slow..", Sakusa asked gently and took his equipment to clean everything out. Atsumu grit his teeth at the pain and gripped the sheets on either side of him. A single tear fell down his cheek, while Sakusa had to make sure there was no dirt in his wound. To his surprise, he found sand and cleaned it out with a wet damp cloth before taking any big pieces of debris out with tweezers. He did that with all the other open wounds and then applied a thin layer of antiseptic ointment. Atsumu had started crying again in the middle of it all. For one, he was glad to finally get help from someone, but on the other side he didn't want Sakusa to think he only needed him so he could be fixed. That wasn't it, at all. No, Atsumu cared about him a whole lot, after just hours upon meeting. But that could wait. Sakusa didn't need to know that just yet. He would show him when he got the chance.

After a few minutes he calmed down and started explaining what happened, but as he did, he started crying once more. He hated himself for crying so much but thought about the fact that he didn't have anyone to really let out his feelings, so maybe this is just normal. He could not tell. But the way Sakusa listened to him and got his undivided attention made him happy.

"So- There's this guy- my best friend-, his name is Kuroo. I found him in the woods one day when he was trying to kill himself, because his life just- fell apart and at the same time his boyfriend had broken up with him, because he couldn't handle Kuroo being sad and depressed all the time. Same guy wants Kuroo back now that his life is better again, but, of course, Kuroo knows he doesn't need a fake bitch like that, but now Daishou- that's the guys name- is mad as fuck and is trying to mess with us. And so he came up to me and told me to end my friendship with Kuroo or he'll tell everyone Kuroos story and my brothers secret, including my parents. And if that happens Osamu and Kuroo will suffer as much as… me"

Oblivious to the rest of the story, Sakusa didn't understand what was going on any better now than he did before. All he could do was comfort Atsumu and tell him things would be fine again. And he did.

They spent their time doing homework together, going out and taking walks. They cooked together, listened to music together; Sakusa even got him to like the musical 'Six'. Often, Sakusa would read a random bedtime story to Atsumu that had him out like a light real fast. Sakusa didn't know if was considered creepy or not, but after anytime Atsumu was fast asleep in his bed, Sakusa played with his blond locks until he could sleep himself.

It took Atsumu one month of ignoring Kuroo and getting used to not taking to him, to work up the guts to quit their friendship. After Kuroo had seeked out Atsumu to find out why he was being shown the cold shoulder, Atsumu blurted out to him he no longer wanted to be friends. Kuroo was left confused and alone, the smile on his lips, he himself earned after so much hate he's been through, disappearing. His best friend quit their friendship just like that. Didn't state a reason, didn't explain why or what was bothering him; it was heart crushing and Kuroo was left discombobulated. Kuroo had cried, tried to stop Atsumu from leaving by hanging on his clothes and begged him to at least explain to him why, just why he would do this. It broke Atsumus heart into pieces, yet, he would still not tell him the truth. He pushed the other away roughly, the rage he had on himself being projected onto Kuroo.

'Its for his own good', he told himself again as he saw Kuroos bloodshot eyes,'He will be okay without me. He doesn't even need me. He has Yaku and his dad. He doesn't need me'

He watched Kuroo cry into his hands, pleading, wet eyes searching Atsumus for an answer. Kuroo wanted to be mad, he wanted to yell at Atsumu but he was just so confused, he couldn't understand what was really happening. Kuroo had seen dark before, but not like this. It was a new kind of pain he never experienced before, and it made him feel cold, empty and numb. Atsumu watched him the whole time, holding back his tears and just said "I'm sorry" to Kuroo before he left. Until he arrived at Sakusas, he was quietly biting his tongue. The second Sakusa asked him what what wrong, however, he broke down and cried for hours and hours and fell asleep in Sakusas arms with tear streaks on his cheeks.

After that, Atsumu was torn between hating and loving himself more with each passing day. Sakusa made him feel good about himself, but he couldn't not think of how Kuroo was doing, where he was or if he hated him. He was sure Kuroo hates him now.

His wounds started fading, he didn't hunger or get hurt and pretty much lived in Sakusas room without his parents even having seen him, which was weird because he was vocal and loud, but it seemed like they didn't care if there was a killer in their son's room. Of course, Atsumu was no killer, but they didn't know that! He had a place to sleep next to a person he cared for from day to day. At the same time, he hadn't heard anything from Kuroo. He couldn't talk to him, ask him how things were going. Kuroo had given up on Atsumu really fast, but missed him all the more. Even Yaku, who was Kuroos boyfriend, started sending Atsumu dirty looks in the school hallway; Atsumu had to fight the urge to just shrink into himself. He heard from his brother that Kuroo would even come to the Miyas and just sit in Atsumus room, wondering if he would come back. He was more worried than anything, he knew how bad his life was and that he ran away didn't surprise him in the least, he understood that very well. But he didn't have to quit their friendship because he left. What if someone kidnapped him, what if he died? Kuroo was at a loss. He didn't know that he was happily cuddling the dark, curly haired boy. So even when Kuroo walked into the forest and waited at their spot, Atsumu wouldn't be there, at the place where they met for the first time. Kuroo would be alone to grieve and cry. Just Kuroo in the forest by himself.

After a few more months with spring right around the corner, Atsumu noticed Yakus death glares were no longer drilling holes in the back of his head and he was talking more often to a guy named Futakuchi. Talking as in Yaku would blush and Futakuchi would smirk. It had Atsumus alarms ringing. Kuroo wasn't coming to school anymore either. It was all a big disaster until he saw him.

Standing in a far off corner was Daishou, licking his his thin lips in the most evil manner Atsumu had ever laid eyes on. Daishou had done something and Atsumu would find out what it was, if it's the last thing he does. He followed Daishou to class, where the door was closed into Atsumus face, leaving him stumbling backwards, scowling. Through a little window in the door, he saw Daishou waving at him with a wicked grin that made all of his hair stand on end. His rage took over him and he ripped open the door, walked over the where Daishou was seated and grabbed him by his collar roughly. His pupils were dilated in anger, grinding his teeth together as he pulled Daishou flush against himself.

"What did you do to Kuroo?"

Daishou had the audacity to laugh. Atsumu was very close to just punching him, but that would be even below him and his normal behavior known around school.

"I held up my part of the deal. I didn't talk to Yaku and Kuroo. They talked to me. It's funny how fast someone can change their mind about loving someone. Kuroo and I? We're back together and he is…very eager"

Or maybe, when someone begged him to be punched, Atsumu would just blow out his lights. But not here, not now when he didn't have enough information. He roughly pushed the snake back into its seat and stormed off. That would lead to nothing, not with a guy like that.

He couldn't talk to Kuroo, the damage was done now, and if he talked to him, Daishou would still tell everyone their secret. Shit. Atsumu needed to find out what happened while he was out of the loop for the last few months.

Yaku. He had to go and find Yaku.

After asking what class Yaku had right now in the secretaries office, he ran like his life depended on it. He didn't bother knocking on the door and just opened it, looking inside for Yaku.

"Yaku Morisuke, we need to talk"

Yaku, who was currently having a conversation with none other than Futakuchi Kenji, looked at Atsumu with disgust in his eyes. He sighed, shooting Kenji an apologetic look before turning back to Atsumu. He was standing in the doorway, winded and panting.

"Can this wait? I have math class", rushed Yaku, annoyed, as if math class was the most important thing to him right now. He didn't even wonder about Kuroo. Somehow, Daishou had made Yaku let go of Kuroo when he needed him most, just like he had. That is, after his best friend -his only friend- quit their friendship. Daishou somehow found a way to repeat what he did and made it worse.

"Unfortunately, it can't-", Atsumu almost yelled, but was interrupted by the teacher telling him off, making him take a cautious step back. He didn't need to get into trouble right now. He had to sort things out with Yaku and figure out a way to make everyone happy.

"This will have to wait for until after detention, Miya"

"Haha, Idiot", snickered Futakuchi, pointing his finger at Atsumu.

"Serves you right, Miya", Yaku added on. He wouldn't normally be like this, something was extremely wrong.

"Same goes for you, Futakuchi and Morisuke. Now, if you were so kind and leave my class? I'll see you in Detention"

Great. That was the last thing he needed right now. But at least now Yaku didn't have the chance to just walk away and he could question Futakuchi at the same time. He had to be smart about this. What can he do so nobody gets hurt?

His first plan of action was to go and get Sakusa. He would know what to do, or he wouldn't, Atsumu wasn't sure, but he made Atsumu feel at ease. It was easier to think with Sakusa by his side.

Running off of school grounds, Atsumu made his way to Sakusas house. He almost tripped once, but at last, he made it in a few minutes. He didn't have to think about any injuries anymore, either.

After having been under Sakusas care, they faded very quickly and Atsumu had started running around half (or fully) naked and was much more comfortable in his own skin. Sakusa wasn't directly opposed to that as Atsumu wasn't ugly. But that exactly was the problem. Atsumu was good looking, too good looking for his own good. The worst thing was, now that spring was coming, Atsumu liked to sleep in just a boxer shorts. His skin was soft but muscular and Sakusa was easily distracted and questioning his sexuality constantly.

He sat on his bed listening to a Musical he had recently discovered, while doing some of his Biology homework. He didn't know the name, but the voice of one of the woman gave him goosebumps. Eliza? He can't remember. The blonde wouldn't be back for another hour, Sakusa knew, for he was familiar with his schedule, so he was all the more startled when he heard loud knocking on his window. Atsumu.

"What is he already doing here…", Sakusa mumbled to himself as he plugged his earphones out and opened the window. Before him, holding onto the window sill, was a panting Atsumu. His hair was I disarray and when he spoke up, he needed to take breaks in between his words.

"I saw… Yaku at… school. He was with a guy- Futakuchi. And … and Daishou was there and he said… he said that he and Kuroo are to-", he took a deep breath, wheezing a little,"- fuck.. he said that… Kuroo and him are back together"

In the passing months Atsumu had told Sakusa all about Kuroo, Daishou and Yaku. Not to forget his brother and his brothers boyfriend, as well. Now, Sakusa was on the same level of knowledge of the situation as the blonde was.

"W-What, why? Why would he run back into the arms of that fucking bitch?"

Atsumus vocabulary also rubbed off on Sakusa and he grinned a little without being able to really control it. It was cute.

"I think that he got Futakuchi to flirt with Yaku, but that doesn't explain why they aren't together anymore! Daishou said he wouldn't lay a finger on them so how did he get Kuroo to talk with him on his own account?"

They were both at a loss, staring at the other. Sakusa almost didn't dare to say anything, not wanting to make Atsumu madder than he already was, but he had a theory as to what might have happened. Carefully, he reached out to hold Atsumus hand.

"What if he… didn't hold up his part of the deal? You said he and Yaku were friends, right? What if he told Yaku lies about Kuroo?"

And in that moment, Atsumu could swear he felt a light bulb shine above his head and it clicked in his brain.

"I- I think I know what happened but… there's only one way to find out and quick! Come on!!", said Atsumu before he ran off again.

"Wha- … Where are you going!?", Sakusa yelled after him.

"To school!! Come on, I need your help!!" Atsumu yelled back, making a dramatic turn while running, waving his hands to signalize the other to accompany him.

With a heavy sigh Sakusa ran to the door, slipped his shoes on and ran after his crush.

They got to the room where detention was held just in time, with Sakusa trembling and gasping for air like crazy. When the teacher shot Atsumu a weird look he just shrugged.

"That's uh- … my.. my friend from overseas. He can't be alone at home so he's here. He's um- he, you know, he has special needs" , Atsumu stuttered his way out, eating himself a jab in the ribs by Sakusa.

The teacher just shook her head, told them to sit down and left after she set an one hour timer. As soon as the door closed behind her, Sakusa dropped to his knees, gasping for air like there wasn't any left. Without hesitation, Atsumu dropped down next to him and held his shoulders.

"Omi, what- what's wrong..?!"

"Ran- Ran… to.. to fast… asthma.. ah-", Sakusa gasped, coughing violently.

Yaku perked up from his seat, kneeling down next to Sakusa with a worried expression all over his face.

"Do you have your spray on you?"

"N-n-no", Sakusa sobbed, starting to panic slightly. He had gotten stress-induced asthma a year before they moved away. Sakusa developed it due to walls in their house moulding. He and his mother grew allergic to his old dog, too, so they moved and gave the dog away. When things got too much he would simply take his asthma spray and calm down after a few minutes, but in the rush he forgot to grab it.

"Shit, uh- uh- ah! Help him up and have him raise his arms!", Yaku instructed. A friend of his, Sugawara Koushi, had asthma as well and told Yaku about the many ways to control it, in case he wouldn't have his spray on him and had an attack.

As quickly as possible Atsumu took hold of Sakusas arms and held them up with one hand, brushing the dark locks out of his face with the other.

"Hey, hey, look at me, Omi. Look at me. It's alright, take some deep breaths for me. That's it, perfect"

Yaku shook his head.

"That won't do too much. Get him to the window. What's his name? Omi?", asked Yaku, raising and eyebrow.

"No, that's just- doesn't matter. That's Sakusa..", explained Atsumu as he picked him up, gently placing him down on the wide window seat. He opened the window and rubbed Sakusas back, mumbling quiet comfort. While Yaku rushed over to help, Futakuchi didn't even glance up.

"Sakusa, you have to press your lips together and breathe out very slowly, alright?", instructed Yaku in a calm voice. He needed to be level headed now.

Though, Sakusa tried his best to do as Yaku advised him to, but he couldn't seem to calm down. He hadn't had an attack in over a year and forgot how much he hated them or even just dealt with them. He couldn't breathe, he was crying and sobbing and not even Atsumu managed to calm him down. Sakusas grip on Atsumus hand was tight and worried the blonde to no end.

"It's not working Yaku, it's not working! What do I do? What do I do?!"

"Well, for starters calm down. He's stressed, so don't stress him even more, for fucks sake! Tell him a story, distract him or-or surprise him!", yelled Yaku, looking at Atsumu as if he was the most stupid person that has ever graced the earth. He gave him a light shove.

"Right. Right, yeah. Surprise him. How do I-.. uh…", he trailed off, taking a sharp breath before he grabbed Sakusas chin. He closed the distance between them and kissed Sakusa, pressing their lips together. The kiss made Sakusa hold his breath, too shocked to react. When Atsumu let go, Sakusa only coughed a little, but stared at the blonde before him.

"C-... Calmed down?", he asked with his cheeks red and pupils dilated wide. Sakusa could only nod, eyes wide and touching his lips with his fingertips. Next to them Yaku sighed in relief, sitting back down in his seat. Looking to his side, he punched Futakuchis arm hard.

"Ow, what was that for?", yelped the brunette.

"You could've helped? Urg"

"I didn't wanna be on top of him, too! And his boyfriend helped, so it's fine", Futakuchi complained, rubbing his arm and pointing to Sakusa and Atsumu. They weren't looking at each other directly, but touched by their shoulders ever so slightly. They didn't even hear Futakuchi.

With another big sigh, Yaku placed his head on his arms. He spasmed up, when Atsumu slapped his hands on his desk. He looked at him with ambition in his eyes before he started talking.

"I know you hate me, but I can explain. But first I need to know what Daishou told you. Please, it's important", when the words left Atsumus lips, Futakuchi stiffened.

"What do you mean? You left Kuroo behind, without explaining!! But it doesn't even matter now because I found out that he's a fucking asshole!", Yaku spat. He trusted Daishou more than he trusted Kuroo. He had no idea about what really had happened and Atsumu was about to lose his mind.

"What did he tell you?!", Atsumu banged his firsts on the table. He looked like a wild animal gone savage, nose flared, eyes wide, pupils small. Gulping, Yaku explained to him what Daishou had told him about Kuroo.

Atsumu stepped back and almost lost his footing. All eyes were on him when he pushed the hair out of his face. He was starting to sweat and he cursed under his breath. It all made sense now, why Daishou would want Kuroo to suffer and be isolated from the rest.

"We need to leave, right now. Omi, come", Atsumu stepped in front of Sakusa and urged him to grab onto him so he could give the other a piggyback ride. He was in no condition to run anymore, but he couldn't do it without him. He needed him close now.

"What- What's going on?" , Yaku jumped up from his seat and shot Atsumu a worried look.

"Daishou lied to you. He used Futakuchi, too. We need to go save Kuroo from that snake", grunted Atsumu, adjusting Sakusas body against his own and mumbling a small 'Hold on tight' to him.

Yaku spinned around, catching Futakuchis stare. He shook his head in disbelief, biting his lips.

"Is that true? And don't lie to me, Kenji, or I will bite your dick off", Yaku threatened the brunette boy. Futakuchi was facing the floor as me nodded, shame visible in his posture. Yaku took a few steps back, shook his head with a scoff and turned to Atsumu.

"Let's go"

After they had been running for some time, Yaku shot Atsumu a look, dripping in worry. He felt bad, not only because, he was carrying Sakusa and he didn't even know how far they would be running, but also because he saw through Daishous antics where he himself couldn't and didn't believe him. Daishous place was still far away, but with no car or money for a bus, they were left to walk the distance on foot. It was a toll on Atsumu that he didn't know how much longer he would be running, but he didn't hesitate one bit to keep going. This was about his best friend, he wouldn't let Daishou ruin him even more than he already had.

While the three of them were rushing to get to Kuroo before anything bad could happen, Daishou was working his way up to exactly that.

Kuroo was sitting in Daishou room on his bed, sipping on the disgusting liquid the other had handed to him, with the promise of him feeling better after drinking it. He wasn't sure if it's true, but Kuroo had nothing more to lose, did he? He forced the bitter drink down his throat in one go and turned to Daishou. He was drinking, too. At least, that is what Kuroo thought. When Daishou noticed the drowsiness in his boyfriends eyes, he got closer to him, kissing his neck. Immediately, Kuroo flinched away and cried out, pushing Daishou away roughly.

"N-No, Stop that, Su. I don't want you touching me", Kuroo murmured, "I don't like it, so please…"

Bad memories bubbled up in him and he moved away from the other, tense and trembling. Daishou rolled his eyes, filling Kuroos cup anew and waited some more. It was no fun if Kuroo wasn't into, too, Daishou thought, while he watched him sip on his beer. The more he drank, the more Kuroo got used to the bitter taste of the beer. He was growing a little hot and uncomfortable and he glanced at Daishou.

"Come on, now, Kuroo. Let me at least kiss you… It's been so long", Daishou pushed, slurring his words. He invaded Kuroos personal space again, coming too close for comfort. With more alcohol intus, Kuroos attempts to fight Daishou grew more sluggish. As if he could read minds Daishou licked Kuroos earlobe and whispered into his ear. Kuroo almost gagged.

"You're all alone, anyway. No one wants you, but me. Miya left you, Yaku left you. Even your mom left you. Be good to me and let me have you, hm baby? Come on…"

With crumbling resolve and pure sadness numbing his senses, Kuroo let the other undress him slowly until he was left in his boxers. Tears were rolling down his face And he held his voice back in fear of being hurt. He believed Daishous words. There was nothing else for him to believe anymore, to hold onto.

When Daishou moved in to kiss the defenseless boy under him the door to his room slammed open with a bang. Rushing over to the two was Atsumu, shoving Daishou and pushing him to the ground. His hand was hovering in the air, threatening to punch Daishou.

"It was you!! It was all you from the very beginning!", screamed Atsumu. Had it not been for Sakusa holding him back, he might have punched Daishous lights out in one swift blow. Sakusa pulled him back on his feet, down from Daishou and rubbed the small of his back.

Kuroo yelped belatedly, covering his body with the blanket as he saw not only Yaku and Atsumu, but also a complete stranger standing in the middle of the room. It was rather dark with the curtains closed, but Yaku could still tell how uncomfortable Kuroo was. He turned to Daishou and send him a soul piercing glare.

"Explain to me what's going on and don't even think about lying, you hear me?! You're outnumbered"

Yaku yelled loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but he didn't stop there. When Daishou snickered while he stood up, he gave him a hard roundhouse kick that had Daishou falling on his face again. Atsumu glanced from Sakusa to Kuroo and nudged Sakusa. He quickly got the message and walked over to Kuroo to help calm him down and see what was wrong.

Meanwhile Daishou was coughing and holding his hands up as if to show he's innocent. Yaku must've believed in the good in him, having been friends with him for a while. Atsumu couldn't help but yell out, when he saw Yaku hesitating.

"He lied! Everything he told you is a lie!", yelled Atsumu, clenching his fists firmly, desperately. "Being abused and forgotten, being sexually abused by his own mother and then having her leave him all alone!! That's what he told you happened to him, right Yaku? That Kuroo quit their relationship right after the first time it really happened, isn't that right?! And that Kuroo was a bad friend and that Kuroo was this and Kuroo was that! But you know what? I'm the bad friend. I'm the bad friend for actually believing you would leave Kuroo alone after I did what you told me to. You wanted him to feel alone, so he would come crawling back to you! So you told me off by threatening me and you told Yaku off by lying to him but- Hey!!! Yaku, you know what?! That was Kuroos story!"

His yelling was so loud that his voice cracked a few times as he spoke. He needed to take a deep breath before he continued.

"He turned the whole story around to look good in your eyes, because he knew Kuroo had a crush on you, since, like, forever! But it was him! He was the one that left after Kuroo trusted him with his life! I found him in the forest trying to kill himself that exact same day! All because of you!!", Atsumu was so full of rage that tears started dripping from his eyes.

"B-But.. No, I-", Daishou stammered, standing up slowly, but unable to meet Atsumus intense stare.

"Kuroo… Is that true…?"

Now Kuroo was the one starting to sob into Sakusas arm. He didn't complain, even though he didn't clearly enjoy it at all. Kuroos head was in his hands as sobs rocked his body. When he looked up to meet Yakus eyes, he sniffed and Yakus heart broke in two.

"I- I just couldn't tell you. I was scared you might think I'm weird or just leave me. I was so scared to lose you! And then I did so I thought… I thought-", Kuroo cried out. Sakusa rubbed his back and shushed him gently.

"No! This is not how I planned it! You ruined everything, Miya! I told you not to take to him, or else I'll tell everyone about Kuroos mom and your parents!!"

In that moment, Atsumu wasn't scared anymore. He had Kuroo and Yaku and he had Sakusa, who was smiling at him, encouraging him to do the right thing. Before he could speak, though, Kuroo did. He put his t-shirt back on and stood up. He may have not looked very scary at that time, but his words shook everyone in the room to their core.

"Go ahead. Do it, I don't care what you think or tell. The only thing that matters is what the people who stay by my side think, even when things get rough"

He pulled on his pants, having come to his senses a bit. Sakusa supported him, as he was clearly not sober. On the floor sat Daishou, defeated, disbelief written all over his face. He went to grab Kuroo as he walked past him, but was stopped by a hand slapping his. Looming over him was Sakusa with the scariest face any of them had ever seen. What came next was a surprise for all of them, though.

"Don't you dare touch him again, bitch",he hissed, the last thing said aloud. With that, they left the house together, leaving Daishou by himself.

Their walk back was quiet at first. It was a lot to process for them all and it took them at least 15 minutes of quiet to arrange their thoughts. Yaku was the first one to speak.

"Kuroo-... I'm so sorry I-... I had no idea…"

Kuroo froze in his steps and sighed. He was just glad all of that was over now and he wanted nothing more than to go home and take a good shower, but he had to settle this first.

"Do… you think I'm disgusting? Because I would understand if you did, really. You don't have to pretend you like-", before he could finish his sentence, Yaku had buried his face into Kuroos chest and wrapped his arms around him.

"I like you and I don't think you're disgusting, Kuroo, and nothing will change that", as the words left Yakus lips, Kuroo sniffed and embraced Yaku tightly.

Now that they had this problem out of the way, Sakusa and Atsumu smiled at one another. Remembering their kiss from earlier, one of them coughed while the other scratched his neck nervously.

This would be the start of something new and the four of them awaited the change with open arms.

Months later on the 15th of August, in the middle of summer holidays after graduation, Sakusa, Yaku and Kuroo were preparing decorations in the clearing next to the pond of the forest. Sakusa was in charge of most of the decoration and hung up a paper sign that said "It is your birthday" along with a single, grey balloon. When he was sure the sign wouldn't fall off, he rubbed his hands on his leg as Kuroo and Yaku walked up next to him. They look up at the sign, then at each other.

"Sakusa, have you ever- you know, uh- been… on a birthday?"

Sakusa whipped his head to the side, looking just like a kicked puppy.

"Is it not good?", he asked, biting down on his fingertips. He glanced at Yaku who only smiled and punched Kuroo from behind Sakusas back.

"No no! Not at all!! It's… definitely correct!", Yaku stammered, "Don't worry, I'm sure he will love it"

"Okay, all that's missing is the cake, go get it, babe", Kuroo said, patting Yakus shoulder. Yakus eyes went wide and he hit Kuroo again.

"The cake was your job, not mine!! I did the food!! I brought Salad and hot dogs, remember!?", yelled Yaku. From one second to the other, all the color drained from Kuroos face.

"Hey, what's all this commotion about?", Atsumu stumbled over a root and held onto a tree. When he caught sight of the sign and the single balloon, one eyebrow perked up in confusion. Yaku, Kuroo and Sakusa jumped, startled by Atsumu.

"What- What are you doing here?", Kuroo asked.

"Well, you were all gone when I woke up and it only took me a few seconds to eat the omelettes Omi-baby made me, so I came looking for you! But what is this all about?", questioned Atsumu. It didn't even cross his mind that all of this was for him. He had ignored his birthday for a long time that he didn't even remember it was this day that he would turn 18.

Sakusa stepped up to Atsumu and gave him a soft kiss to his lips. With a loving, fond look in his eyes, Sakusa caressed his boyfriends cheek and pulled him into a warm embrace. Quietly, he whispered into Atsumus ear.

"Happy birthday, Tsumu…", Sakusa slowly parted from the blonde, who now had how black roots showing. When Atsumu looked around again, he saw a table with tupperware, plastic cups and plates, he looked to the footbridge that was decorated with two balloons. When his face read over the sign one last time a choked sob escaped him, slapping his hand over his mouth.

"Is-.. Did you do that for- for me?", Atsumu sobbed. Sakusa smiled and glanced over to Kuroo and Yaku.

"These two helped me… Happy Birthday, Tsumu", Sakusa smiled, kissing Atsumus temple, where once had been a wound. All that was left of it now, was a tiny scar. Atsumu wailed, smiling bright and he crushed Sakusa in another hug. Next, he ran to Kuroo and Yaku and embraced them in a bone crushing hug, too.

From a few meters away, echoed a sound through the trees. The person clearing their throat stood there wasn't alone. Next to them was another boy, black hair and slightly taller. The smaller one was holding a birthday cake in his hands and slowly walked towards Atsumu. He was quietly singing Happy birthday, the other sang with him. They stopped in front of Atsumu and smiled at him lopsidedly.

"I- I know I wasn't the best brother to you. I was scared and I worried a lot, but I didn't have the guts to stand up to our parents like you did. I… always thought you were so brave that I realized I wasn't. When we figured out I was- well- smart, I tried to work harder than anyone else. I guess I never told you that, but I'm still aiming to be a layer. I wanted to be that, so I could stand by your side and know what our rights are and outplay mom and dad. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you to bring you a piece of cake so… I baked this whole cake for you-", Osamus voice got thinner until he choked on the last words. A small tear rolled down his cheek and he looked into his twins eyes. As if Sakusa knew what was gonna happen, he grabbed the cake from Osamus fingers just in time before Atsumu jumped on him.

"'Samu!!", Atsumu cried into his shoulder. It was a small gesture, but to Atsumu, it meant the world. The two brothers hugged it out for a short while, before they looked each other deep in the eye.

"Happy birthday to you too, bro", Atsumu choked out before he embraced his brother again. Next to them, Suna was wiping his eyes. Sakusa smiled softly as he glanced to the tall boy.

"Hi", Suna choked," I'm Suna Rintarou, Osamus Boyfriend and I'm totally not crying"

He held out his hand for Sakusa to shake. It took Sakusa a second, but he shook his hand, smiling gently with a knowing look on his face.

"Nice to meet you, Suna that is totally not crying. I'm Sakusa Kiyoomi. Here, a tissue"

"Thanks"

Further back, Kuroo was sniffing, blowing his nose a bit too loudly. Yaku smiled up at him, hugging him from the side.

"Now, don't cry, too. Everything is fine now. So! Who wants hot dogs? There's plenty for everyone!!", Yaku smiled, clapping his hands to get everyone going.

They sat down together and ate salad and hotdogs. Everyone laughed at Sakusas attempt to eat with his hands, something he'd never tried before. Chuckling, Atsumu gave him a helping hand and showed him how it's done. They talked, made jokes and laughed until they cried and got stomach aches from the force of it. They ate Osamus cake, which was surprisingly delicious. Together they played games- they let Atsumu and Osamu win without telling them, because they were good friends and boyfriends.

When the sun was setting, all of them sat together on the footbridge, engaged in conversation. Atsumus head was resting on Sakusas shoulder until the other stirred. Atsumu raised his head and watched Sakusas eyelashes flutter as he opened them to look at his boyfriend.

"Did you like your birthday?", mumbled Sakusa quietly, kissing Atsumus black roots. He smiled when the other hummed.

"I loved it. Best birthday I ever had, Omi-baby. For everything", Atsumu whispered fondly. He kissed Sakusa gently, placing his hand on the others neck to pull him closer. Sakusa kissed back, a smile playing on his lips as he let go, giving Atsumu another small peck.

"I love you, Atsumu…"

"I love you more, Omi-baby"

"Stop calling me that! Don't!", Sakusa protested, flailing his arms angrily. When Atsumu caught them, he grinned, using his other hand to gently grab Sakusas chin.

"You love it when I call you that, though.."

"Do not"

"Do, too"

"Do not!!", Sakusa almost laughed, struggling in Atsumus hold. When a tiny giggle escaped him, he quickly shut his mouth and glared at Atsumu. When he only grinned back at him, Sakusa lost it and started laughing wildly.

"Okay, you win, you win! I like it!", Sakusa shrieked, trying to flee from Atsumus hand that was tickling his stomach. Atsumu had found out about Sakusa being ticklish approximately one month ago and Sakusa strongly regrets it. Or he just said that, because he clearly enjoyed it. He just didn't want Atsumu to press things out of him like that. But he did love it. He loved him and Atsumu loved him, too.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading! Please tell me your thoughts about this, what you liked, your favorite part or anything at all, I would love some feedback!! 
> 
> You can come find me on Twitter at Tetsuu_art !!
> 
> I'd love to chat!!


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